Self-care for teens and young adults – 7 tips to boost your mental health

Taking care of your mental health is not only a good idea if you are depressed, have a burnout, have an anxiety disorder … Everyone can benefit from self-care. How? In this blog, you can find seven useful tips.

1) Get properly informed

A great deal of incorrect, unsubstantiated information and tips circulate online on the topic of self-care. For example, think of the advice offered by coaches and experience experts, shared on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook.

Some advices are useful, while others are made out of thin air. Therefore, be very careful with following this advice blindly. Because if you get the wrong guidance, your situation may even get worse.

So where can you find accurate information and tips?

• On this page (text in Dutch), you will find some answers to frequently asked questions from teens and young people, based on input from licensed psychologist-psychotherapist Marisa Hoslet.
• The tips on the website Awel, formerly the Children and Youth Telephone. This website is followed up and monitored by trained professionals. Awel is an initiative of the Ministry of Welfare and the Ministry of Youth. However, guidance is offered only in Dutch. Check this link if you are looking for help in English.
• Tips from psychologists and therapists who are on the Psychologists’ Commission list and have visas (check these links: Psychologists’ Commission list and search engine for psychologists with visas). Note that the last website is only available in Dutch. What they advise via social media and blogs on their website should be reliable and correct.
• Scientific magazines. Think of Eos and Wetenschap in Beeld.
• Tips from recognized institutions and organizations, such as the Flemish Institute for Healthy Living asbl. On this page (text in Dutch), you can find tips to boost your mental well-being.

2) Get help from a reliable psychologist

You can find a therapist, coach or psychologist literally everywhere. If you feel the need to talk to a psychologist, make sure you choose someone who is properly trained and followed up.

Where and how do you find a reliable psychologist? Check the page ‘Help, hoe vind ik een goede psycholoog’, where you can find a step-by-step plan that can help you with this (in Dutch and useable to find psychologists in Belgium). Does the person you were referred to or were recommended have a waiting list? On this page (text in Dutch), you will find some tips on how to deal with that.

Don’t go looking for help online, randomly. The wrong guidance can do more harm than good.

~ Marisa Hoslet

Do you feel resistance to take this step? It is normal to have prejudices and doubts. But keep in mind that your opinions or views about psychologists may not be based on your own experiences, but on the stories of others or the media.

Tip: On this page (text in Dutch), we did a fact check of some common myths, such as ‘They’re weird people’ and ‘Psychologists often have problems of their own’.

3) Create good routines

Creating good, achievable routines for yourself is very important for your mental well-being, although it is often underestimated. What exactly do we mean by ‘good routines’?

• Sleep on fixed hours. Going out late from time to time is of course okay, but make sure you return to your normal sleep routine soon afterward. After all, sleeping well is important for the recovery of your body and mind. Most people need about 7 to 8 hours of sleep. But consider your own needs, as everyone is different. In addition, avoid screen time right before bedtime, because this is detrimental to your sleep quality.
• Eat at regular times, but also healthy and enough. As you probably know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So what is healthy food? Eating enough fruits and vegetables is important, amongst other things. Check out the nutrition triangle from the Flemish Institute for Healthy Living for more information.
• Make sure you exercise regularly. Do you often sit still, to study for example? The Flemish Institute for Healthy Living recommends to engage in light-intensive physical exercise on a daily basis. Examples include walking, taking the stairs, cleaning your room (your parents will like this too!), light types of yoga … In addition, it is best to move moderately to highly intensive every week for a few hours (dancing, jogging, bicycling, etc.). Schedule exercise at set times during the day and week. In other words, make exercise part of your routine!
• Schedule activities that make you feel good, such as calling a friend, cooking or making something beautiful for someone else. You can find more inspiration on this website (in Dutch).
• Create routines for your physical hygiene, such as combing your hair, brushing your teeth, flossing, cutting your nails and preparing your bed. These types of (daily) actions are also important for your physical and mental well-being.
• Make time to reflect on people and situations that you are grateful for. It is important to do this when everything is going well, as well as when you are facing stressful and difficult situations (illness, conflict, war …). You can do this by consciously pausing and asking yourself the question “What am I grateful for today?” On the other hand, you can also take some time to write it down in a notebook, such as a personal gratitude notebook. Also become aware of what this triggers in you in terms of emotions/feelings, physical sensations, thoughts …

An inspiring testimonial:

“I am a young woman of 26 years old. I live alone in a studio. I don’t manage to eat meals on a daily basis. I already feel stress and tension coming up just thinking about it.

During a consultation, the psychologist taught me to eat ‘mindfully’. I was focused on the sensorial experience of eating. I didn’t get caught up in the (unrealistic) thoughts about the possible adverse consequences of eating.

It became a pleasant experience, eating together with the psychologist. Since then, I have been eating more regularly.”

4) Mindfulness, meditation and yoga

It has been proven that mindfulness, and meditation and yoga as part of that, can promote your mental health. It is a form of self-care that anyone can implement in their lives. You can read more about it on the page “What is mindfulness?”.

Some tips:

Start small and build up slowly

For example, start by meditating and/or doing some yoga exercises for a few minutes every week at a fixed time. The following month you can increase the time to 5 min. Then every 3 days you can meditate and/or do yoga for 5 min, and so on. Engaging in mindfulness every day is ideal, but do what is feasible for you.

Mindfulness is more than meditation and yoga

It is also about doing day-to-day activities mindfully. Think of mindful eating or exercising, so with attention and without distractions. By the way, did you know that mindfulness and awareness exercises such as tai chi and yoga can also help you become (more) aware of your deepest desires in your life? After all, it’s important to head in a well-defined direction and engage in activities that are meaningful for you.

Would you like to practice this? The Center for Mindful Living regularly organizes sessions mindful eating and mindful walking. Can you find an overview of all activities here.

An inspiring testimonial:

“I am a young woman of 26 years old. I live alone in a studio. I don’t get around to eating my meals daily. I already feel stress and tense just thinking about it.

In a consultation, the psychologist taught me to eat ‘mindfully’. I was focused on the sensory experience of eating. I did not let (unrealistic) thoughts about the possible negative effects of eating get the better of me.

It became a pleasant experience, eating together with the psychologist. Since then, I have been eating more regularly.”

Make sure not to follow gurus or coaches who are not trained to guide people in mindfulness, meditation and yoga

Check the background, trainings, experiences … of the person guiding the exercise(s).

Would you like to start with mindfulness? The center organizes trainings for various audiences on a regular basis. Contact us via this link.

5) Surround yourself with people who give you energy

It is best to avoid people who make you feel bad, for example because they have a very negative attitude or often criticize you. Conversely, it is a good idea to spend time with as many people as possible who give you energy. This too is a form of self-care!

Good friendship with friends and relatives that you have known for a long time is very important. Actively approach these people. So don’t wait for them to contact you, but take the step to suggest to go exercising together, to take a walk in nature, to study together …

On the other hand, you can also get to know or find ways to meet new people. How? Some options:

• Start a new hobby, something you like to do or would like to do.
• Attend a (creative) workshop. Think of pottery, drawing, dancing, cooking …
• Have a chat with your neighbors, if you don’t already know them (well).
• Join a student club.
• Go live in a cohousing instead of a studio, dorm or apartment on your own.

6) Express what you think and feel

Bottling up feelings and thoughts is the worst thing you can do. Talk about what is going on with close friends and family, or possibly with a professional, such as a psychologist.

You can also express your feelings in other ways. Consider emotional expression through music and art (singing, dancing, painting, sculpting …).

Below you can read a testimony of a young adolescent, a 17-year-old girl. She explains how drawing and talking to a psychologist helped her.

“I was feeling lost. I had suicidal thoughts.

The teachers did not believe I would succeed in my courses in the nursing program. The teachers were often angry and blamed me.

I snapped. I gave up. I barely spoke at school. Sometimes, I skipped classes.

The student counselor referred me to a psychologist. In addition, I recently started drawing illustrations about my suicidal thoughts. I now talk about what the situation with the teachers did and still does to me. I don’t feel alone in it anymore. For several weeks now, I no longer have suicidal thoughts.

If I could start over again, I would have talked about the situation more quickly, including with a psychologist.

I do have a best friend with whom I often talk. But a psychologist is objective and understands me better.”

Do you find it difficult to cope with difficult situations or changes in our society? During times of heightened stress and war, you may feel like you have no control over what happens. Certain feelings may come back again and again and are not so easy to deal with.

What can you do then? Look for things that you cán do, that make you feel like you maintain some control and that you can have an impact. Examples: participate in a demonstration, speak up on social media, volunteer, raise money for victims …

7) Use online channels such as social media consciously

Social media, podcasts, blogs … can be fun, but they can also cause stress. Therefore, try to be careful with how much time you spend online.

For example, set a limit for yourself and go completely offline on a regular basis, such as while studying or during an evening with friends. This allows you to be more in the moment, which makes you more focused, but also allows you to enjoy yourself more.

Also pay attention to who you follow and what posts you look at. Do they mostly give you positive energy or do they make you feel worse? Unfollow accounts that make you feel insecure. Remember that people often only share their best moments, and that this doesn’t always reflect reality.

In addition, do not be fooled by success stories of young people who are supposedly completely transformed, because these stories are not always true.

Instead, focus on inspiring, but more nuanced, true stories. On the page ‘Inspirerende verhalen’ (in Dutch), we collect these. Are you a young person and do you have an inspiring story? Send us a message and who knows, we might post it on our website.